London Mojito

Bermondsey Square, London SE1 3UN
www.bermondseysquarehotel.co.uk
(warning - website contains vast amount of flash)

Part of the newly-built Bermondsey Square Hotel, Alfie's is playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

Greeted and seated on the leather banquettes in this almost-brand-new bar, one quickly realises that this is Just Another Hotel Bar. The staff are friendly enough and the decor is comtemporary and funky, but on closer inspection things are just not quite right.

It's website it down. This may seem trite, but the address is splattered on every placemat, so you think they would be more concerned. They don't seem to know what I'm talking about when I mention it.

The staff are well meaning but don't seem to be at the table much; the plastic "hanging basket" seat seems a bit of an afterthought, purchased from a second-hand porno-set furnishers; the bar stools can't actually be sat on without amputating both kneecaps and many of the tables are inaccessible without sitting on a tatami mat.

In short: It's got the right ingredients, but it's using them all wrong (Spotted the segue?....)

The Mojito is no different, it's got everything but it just doesn't work. Not enough lime, too much mint. Not enough ice, too much soda. Not enough rum. And for some reason it comes with a glacé cherry. Seriously. It's not terrible, but it certainly doesn't work.

Venue: Just Another Hotel Bar - 5/10
Value: £7.50 - Just About Justifiable - 6/10
Mojito: Just Not Good Enough - 4/10

Overall: 5/10